Valentine: 22 Lessons and Reminders to Men

By Silas Nyanchwani

Memo No. 6 From The National Welfare Desk of Men

1. Don’t ever allow anyone, male or female to waste your time. You can never
replace lost time. So, cut off anyone who needs you at their convenience. However desperate you are, retain some dignity for yourself.

2. If you are in your 20s, and unmarried, postpone your marriage until you are at least 32. They say, that when you skip marriage in your 20s, you
have potentially avoided your first divorce. Marriage has a lot of material responsibilities and whoever tells you, “Anzia popote, mtasaidiana,’ is a
witch, report him or her to the nearest police station. Utaachwa ukisota. For real.

3. I saw this quote on the Twitter handle of ‘the Kelechi+ @_igwilo and it has been my mantra since 202: “What if it does work out exactly how you imagined it or greater? Entertain that thought.” Sounds brilliant.

4. Failure is a temporary stage in life. If you fail in business, marriage, or career, don’t let it define you. Be resilient. Bounce back. You can always go ahead to conquer.

5. Don’t be a loser. If you lose, retain some measure of dignity to help you rise from the ashes. Success is the only acceptable form of revenge.

6. Shower daily. Buy some nice clothes for yourself (no matter what). Buy some cologne. Smell nice. Also, use mouthwash from time to time. Visit a dentist once or twice a year. Sh 5,000-6,000 can do the clean-up if you don’t have insurance. Halitosis is an epidemic, in both men and women. That is just one mzinga and the shots you buy the girls who ditch you on a night out.

7. Always think positively. The mind is a powerful thing. Think highly of yourself (don’t get delusional, though), tell yourself you are strong and better, even when the weight of the world is on your shoulders.

8. Everyone is fighting their own demons. Be slow to judge or to draw conclusions.

9. You will always have haters. But as they say, the loudest boos come from the cheapest seats.

10. If you are young (under 32) and you make your first million now, spend it like it is the last one. Invest in the right stuff; a good house, some asset that can come in handy on rainy days. Don’t spend the cash on women or a good time. That is fleeting and you will regret it. The rule applies to older
people as well. Pesa huisha. Always invest wisely. Spend every coin like it is your last.

11. You may end up alone in your 50s. Make sure you have some money. Life will be more bearable and tolerable that way. Playing golf is better than ajua or draughts reminiscing about old glories.

12. If you are young, have male friends older than you, by a decade, at least. If you are 20, have good male friends in their 30s, 40s, 50s. Learn from their
best choices and fuckups.

13. Drink for leisure and pleasure, not to drown your pain. The car doesn’t know its way home, don’t be stupid.

14. Don’t buy the second mzinga, if the first was enough. Never measure balls
in a bar. Drink what you can afford, bro. Life is not a competition.

Some Notes on Women

15. Always chase high-quality/value women. Being a high-quality woman is not about money or her academic papers. Those are secondary. High-Value woman has a high IQ, has integrity, and dignity, was raised well, is cooperative, feminine, submissive, and supportive. Add empathy. In return, she gets your maximum loyalty, because you are her soldier.

16. As Brother Rollo Tomassi, reminds us, a woman should be a complement to your life, never the focus of it. She is a by-product of your success. Have
a higher mission, a higher purpose, and fix your frame.

17. If you are a married man, be a leader in your family. Marriage is a conservative institution. Being a leader doesn’t mean you become some abusive and authoritarian jerk, always lording over everyone. Just make sure you are
in charge. Women like leaders.

18. One of life’s surest guarantees is that a woman will break and crush your heart (whether when dating, during marriage, or even after divorce). Don’t let this crush you, no matter how old you are.

19. If she cheats on you, it is not the end of the world. Walk away and start over. Every morning remind yourself: She is not mine; it is just my turn.
Also, move on as soon as possible.

20. Don’t ever live with the fear of being left by a woman. Eventually, she
leaves. Always let her know that she can leave anytime. The one who wants to stay will stay. Also, adopt an abundance mindset. There are so
many beautiful, wonderful, intelligent women out there. Just open your eyes. Attachment is the source of male suffering.

21. If you lose your job, you will not be treated the same way by your wife. It is like that everywhere in the world. Hang in there and if the treatment gets
shittier, walk. You will be fine, son.

22. Always, weigh all variables before you marry a single mother {Will share a memo on the factors to consider before marrying one}

Final thoughts:

Each day, each year, you will receive a shock, a setback that sends you back to factory settings. It can be an illness, depression, divorce, job loss, or anything. Sometimes it is a pandemic. What it reminds you is simple: always have a backup plan.

Secondly, however dark the clouds are; however much the problems persist,
there is always a bright day ahead. But you have to have the hope, the faith that
the sun will shine again in your life.

Life is not a competition. Sometimes you are ahead. Sometimes you are behind. Just stick to your mission, believe in yourself, push yourself harder
and soon enough, shit starts to work right. Sometimes beyond your wildest expectations.